yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
