So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
