apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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