oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize