Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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