Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
