Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
