I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
