know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ttyl tear gas
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
