just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
