We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize