If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
