dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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