I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
