Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
