For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
