No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
