According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
