I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
