farters have to be the big spoon...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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