it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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