you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
