Your dad touched me again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
