dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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