I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize