That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
