Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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