My pussy is not your playground.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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