Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
