Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
