Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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