Do you still have your period?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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