Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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