she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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