thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
