I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
