I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
