There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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