Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
