I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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