is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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