please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I cockslap morals
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
