whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
