yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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