I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
