yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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