Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I skipped work to stalk him.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
