if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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