i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
