sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
