Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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