I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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