Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
