he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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