I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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