If i come over, it means nothing
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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