No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
