she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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