I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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