do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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