also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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