Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
